(Mostly) Unedited, Unfiltered: What’s The Mood?

Do y’all ever get hit with such a MOOD read that you abandon all current reads and plow through three different ones?

That was me this past weekend. I’ve been reading Meet Me in the Margins (a You’ve Got Mail inspired novel set in the publishing world), The Work Wife (a queer contemporary #MeToo heavy novel set in Hollywood), and The Only Good Indians (a horror novel set around four Indigenous men).

All of those books are great, to be very clear. But then I finished Wonderland (a thriller novel set at a theme park/small town) and I needed something to pull me out of that world. It was so good, so twisty, and intense as fuck. So I needed something to let my brain go.

So, I read a motorcycle club romance and two monster erotica*. Fallen angels, specifically. Because apparently that is my thing right now. I’m not mad about, just highly amused.

*If y’all have not read the Creature Café series by Clio Evans and queer monster erotica with a ton of dark kink is your thing, go immediately. The last book comes out in ONE WEEK!

Anyhoo, please share with me the mood reads that come for you! I want to know.

Until next time,
-A

(Mostly) Unedited, Unfiltered: It’s All Rubbish

Trying to keep to a schedule is rubbish. Trying to do accomplish anything without a schedule is also rubbish.

Thank you, ADHD, you’re the worst.

I don’t normally post here on Mondays, but my brain wanted to write something, share something. Even though at this point it’s post coffee rambles and rambling around a topic – schedules.

Tomorrow I have a book review scheduled for a book that came out a month ago. I had a flash fic scheduled for Thursday, but then decided it was too depressing and put it back in my drafts. And now I’m writing this.

I know there is no magic formula to beat the social media algorithms, but maybe if I keep changing it up, I can sneak around it. But probably not. Still trying not to compare myself to my good month. But alas.

Now it’s time for second cup of coffee.

Until next time,
-A

(Mostly) Unedited, Unfiltered: Anxious Traveler

Pre-travel jitters are the worst.

Mine usually start a week before I am due to leave and the day before they ramp up so much. So today, I feel like I am trying to run out of my own body.

Hmmm….Is this coffee a good idea right now? No, probably not. But it’s a must.

Tomorrow on the drive to the airport I’ll be able to take some meds to get me through my flight, fingers crossed there is not too much of a delay. I am expecting one, but hopefully it’s not drastic.

Now, which books will I take with me? Obviously my Kindle will come with, but I do still have a few spaces left for my physical books. OR. Do I wait to buy books at the bookstore?

Until next time,
-A

(Mostly) Unedited, Unfiltered: Still Trying

I have been going back and forth with myself on whether to close this energy space of writing. But then I keep getting folks who tell me how much they love that I still blog, love my queer book recommendations, so I think I want to stick around longer.

Also, I have always had the intent that one day I will save money for a website overhaul to make this a blog and my author website. So, there’s that.

I think I just need to get my brain sorted again and start treating this with more care and priority than I have done. Which requires a lots of mental shifts, that I am not exactly ready for but also, I don’t want to drag it out.

Fuck, I don’t think any of this makes sense.

Also, gentle reminder to myself June is a really hard fucking month that takes a toll on my mental energy, which extends to my reading and writing. *deep sigh* But I can do this and I love and adore y’all’s support here. Truly.

Until next time,
-A

(Mostly) Unedited, Unfiltered: The Countdown

Getting back to a new normal, new schedule. Trying to get my sleep and mental health back in order. It’s a lot and it doesn’t feel like enough. To be fair, I am approaching a really difficult month in terms of grief. June is a horrible month for me and I didn’t realize I was counting down the days left until yesterday.

I am very lucky to still be with my Michigan family during this time as the way we approach grief here is different than anything I’ve experienced before with my Texas family. (Except for you Mom! My mom is always the exception when I talk about my bio family challenges.) I wish I had an idea of how my grieving is going to go this year. Year three of being without both of my grandmothers.

Mmm, my brain is already running out of things to write. The news cycle this week is getting to me again. Also, pretty sure I am supposed to have therapy today and my therapist hasn’t sent me any links, so I think it got forgotten again. I have got to figure out a better way to schedule with her.

Until next time,
-A

(Mostly) Unedited, Unfiltered: Timey Wimey Brain Struggles

Is the smartest thing for me to be writing something of substance pre-coffee and emotional wound up? No, probably not.

Am I going to keep doing it? Yes, I am.

It’s May, it’s springtime, and I genuinely do not understand time any more. Or seasons, even though I try to follow the cycle of the year and things, I just cannot find myself in Space and Time. And it’s starting to feel like the normal.

I’m not sure I want that to be the normal, but don’t really know how to fix it, how to find a fixed point. Except grounding. Folks love telling me to ground, get my feet in the earth. But y’all. I loathe bugs and have horrible allergies, so I need a second suggestion, please.

Pretty sure breathing is another thing, and yeah, to be fair, I need to get better about that one too. Maybe I’ll download one of those apps that send you reminders to breath. Sometimes I feel silly with how many alarms and notifications I need to stay on top of being human, of functioning. Yay neurodivergence!

And truly, yay. Normally I love my neurodivergent brain. I love how I see the world, how I see patterns, how I interact. But sometimes it wears me down with how much I have to do, how much I have to adjust. And today is one of those days.

Please feel free to send me love, advice, links to helpful tools, etc. I appreciate y’all who read my words, very much.

Until next time,
-A

(Mostly) Unedited, Unfiltered: Writing Brief Moments

Y’all don’t know this, but Thursdays are supposed to be my flash fics. Well, now you know this. Tuesdays for reviews, Thursdays for flash fics, Saturdays for In A Brown Study. But I’m moving my In a Brown Study posts to a Substack at the end of the month. So Saturdays have room for posts like this, even though it’s Thursday when you’re reading this.

I went back and read my four flash fics on this blog and am mildly impressed by them. And then deeply upset that I can’t seem to get back into that writing zone I felt while writing them. Something tells me I was starting to take myself too seriously with the flash fics when I intended them to be a fun writing practice. Not serious.

It’s a bad habit I have. Turning fun things into serious things and then getting caught up in the details and perfection that I end of freezing and not doing it at all. Maybe I should talk to my therapist about that. (Which reminds me I need to email her, she was supposed to email last week to schedule an appointment and never did.)

Anyhoo, I need to figure out this flash fic situation. Because I do have so much fun diving into the middle of a story and just writing what comes to mind with no expectation to ever finish them. Just glimpses, vignettes, passing by their window, if you will, of these characters in a brief moment.

Now to find a new window,
-A

(Mostly) Unedited, Unfiltered: What Is This Blog Exactly?

A blog post in which I write (mostly) unedited, unfiltered, because I very much need to write something.

A Dear Heart told me that they had no idea what my blog was about and that made me realize I’ve done a poor job of communicating that. What once started as a blog for myself to just write (in list format) turned into a space that I want to share more.

More creative writing (in form of flash fics), more book love (in form of both long reviews and mini reviews), more Self shares (in form of these unedited, unfiltered posts), and my favorite monthly wrap ups (in form of, you guessed it, monthly wrap ups).

I would like to say that I will post on a semi set schedule: blog posts up on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays. Wrap ups and mini reviews whenever they make sense for the end of the month. But as it goes with many chronic ill babes/mental health cycles, these postings may vary.

A Note on In A Brown Study posts: I plan on moving these to Substack by the end of the month. Along with these normal ten things list posts, I plan on doing some creative non fiction writing as well, also updates on my writing projects.

Hopefully this short and sweet post gives more insight into the types of writings you will find here. If this sounds like something you would enjoy, you can follow via WordPress or (go the home page, scroll down a bit and) enter your email address for blog posts directly to your inbox.

Now for my third cup of coffee.
-A