Passing Through – Flash Fic

Mara quieted her travel alarm clock and tossed it into her small duffle bag below her on the floor. She slipped out from under the covers and dressed as quietly as she could. Her second alarm on her old diving watch went off, signaling she had four minutes left. Quickly, but carefully, she folded the blankets she had borrowed and put it back in the linen closet. 

She was a pro at this by now — couch hopping. If it were a sport, she was sure to win a medal. Mara had several years of practice minimizing her presence, erasing any evidence she had been through, condensing her life into a small duffle bag and a sturdy vintage medicine bag.

With a minute and a half to spare, Mara grabbed her bags and stepped outside. Pressing the alarm button behind her. She rolled her shoulders, cracking her neck in the process and heaved a deep sigh. As she took a step toward the street ahead, she heard the alarm reactivate on the Michelson’s winter townhome behind her. 

Who needs B&B’s when Mara was a professional at B&E’s?

Moon Femme Musings: Mental Health, Coffee, & Novellas

1. Thinking about taking a social media break soon. I’m not sure for how long, but it feels like something I should do for my mental health. Also debating deleting my Facebook entirely.

2. I emailed a few therapists the other day, already had one phone consultation and have another lined up for Monday morning. I am cautiously optimistic. I have a greater sense of what I want to work on and what patterns I want to stop repeating, so hopefully with those things in mind I will get more out of therapy.

3. *add all the things to cart* Ugh, do I really need these? *closes laptop immediately* I just want to treat myself damn it! *gets email* did you forget something in your cart? NO I DID NOT!

4. Homemade gyros and tzatziki sauce.

5. Fourteen tabs open with different novellas I would like to buy. Lolsob. Maybe I should read the books I have first? Except for I really wanted to theme my November to be Novella November, soooo?

6. The Chocolat soundtrack is always a good idea.

7. I poured my coffee mug way to full. Oops. Now I have to do the awkward lean over the table to slurp it out before picking it up. But somehow have to time it right so I don’t burn my lips.

8. Woke up to 53 degree weather. It’s happening, people! Autumn is happening! Now I have to dig out my long fleece pajamas. And am determined to buy flannel sheets this season for real.

9. Decisions need to be made. And they are really difficult ones. But rather make the decision for myself than have it be made for me.

10. Will I write today?

Never Ending – Flash Fic

“What will it take? What will it finally take for your ridiculous revenge plot to be satiated?” 

My head was heavy, and I didn’t want to get into this again. I was already past the point of exhausted, well into delirious at this point. And I knew Aria wouldn’t understand. 

“You know what I hate the most about these funerals?”

An exasperated sigh. “What?”

“The cloying sentiments, the conjured tears. As if these aren’t war criminals and genocidal villains that we’re burying.”

A heavy silence. “Then why are you still doing this, Emera?” 

“Because someone has to,” I muttered tiredly.


Flash Fiction Weekly Challenge. This week’s words are from my dear Quinn: delirious, cloying, satiated.

Photo by Jr Korpa via Unsplash

September Wrap Up: Or It’s Already October, But I Forgot To Say Goodbye

Currently: My toes are cold as I’m sitting here listening to MONTERO again. I’m listing the pros and cons of whether or not I want to shower today or curl my hair, as I only have the energy for one of those things. Lastly, I’m trying to convince myself this post doesn’t have to be perfect, I just need to post something because I’m tired of not posting.

Also: trying to remember the highlights of this month, but I’m having a hard time remembering. It’s tempting to get on my phone and scroll through my socials to see, but I know if I do that I will get sucked into checking all the notifications and then will stop writing this post. So, let’s see what I can remember.

I know I read four books this month: The Seven Dials Mystery by Agatha Christie, which was a buddy read with my friend Rachel. They Never Learn by Layne Fargo, which was September’s Litualla Book Club read. Neon Gods (Dark Olympus #1) by Katee Roberts, a gift from my dear Allison. For the Wolf (Wilderwood #1) by Hannah Whitten, my most anticipated read this season.

And for fellow fanfic readers: I read a total of 53 different fics for a total of 1,405,318 words of fanfic this month. My top three are probably Divine Repairs & Restoration (A Good Omens Human AU), Bigger Than Us (A Good Omens Human AU/Priest Aziraphale), and Blackbird (Drarry/Werewolf Harry).

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Currently, again: I wrote the above part of the post on October 1st, got distracted and never finished it. Or rather, it was finished, but I never posted because I got distracted looking for the right picture to feature. And now I am sitting at the breakfast bar in our house, drinking coffee, with the Wee One in his highchair on my right. He is eating Cheerios, playing a game on his tablet, and is stuffed between his trash panda and favorite blanket.

So far: I have posted three times on Instragram this month, thanks to a lovely Halloween IG challenge for the month. I am not going to post every day, but just the days that spark an idea. That way I don’t burn myself out and start to hate IG.

Also: this ambient mixer sound, “studying in a small town apartment” is my favorite. It’s also the sound I was listening to when I came up with my queer dark academia book idea. Which I will talk about in a later post.

Finally: I’m not going to spend three more days on finding the perfect picture for this post, but I might spend ten more minutes trying to find a new title.

moon femme musings: naps, cramps, and british shows

one. i keep meaning to change the names of these moon femme musings. but truly don’t know what it would be to. and maybe i’m just being slightly ridiculous. i just want everything across my socials to go together and match aesthetics. even though i change my mind frequently anyways. oh well.

two. when a “i’ll just close my eyes for a few minutes” turns into two hour long nap and you still don’t feel rested.

three. this month i put myself on a book buying ban and had some lovely friends gifted me books from my wishlist. i tried very hard not to cry, because i honestly didn’t think anyone would do so. sometimes i am reminded that humanity is pretty damn beautiful.

four. these cramps are horrible.

five. i love the first line of books. i’m also obsessed with writing the perfect first lines for all my stories. so much so that i rarely ever finished writing any of them for that reason.

six. i’m on season four of midsomer murders. there are twenty something? it’s one of those older british shows that they never cancel. seriously, it started in 1997 and it’s still going. i saw a baby orlando bloom get run through with a pitchfork. i saw professor umbridge and cornelius fudge in the same episode, and that was a strange one. a few more folks that i can’t recall off the top of my head, but i love seeing actors across shows.

seven. damn, have i mentioned these cramps are horrible?

eight. dr pepper & cream soda. perhaps my new favorite soda, besides just regular dr pepper, that is.

nine. a bit bittersweet that my trip to texas is over in four days. i will miss my family here so much and it will be nice to go back to a place i consider home. i want to figure out how to see my texas family more often, but this pandemic is not getting better, and is in fact getting worse. it’s incredibly frustrating.

ten. which reminds me, i really need to look for a new therapist. i wonder if any specialize in pandemic related mental health problems?

moon femme musings: conversations, coffee, and corporate america

one. i keep meaning to use my notes app and track random things throughout my day so that i have an easier time of writing these. i want to be able to recollect my days and weeks and months, but i need to just accept that my memory is kind of shit.

two. texas. pecan. coffee. *insert happy sobbing noises*

three. it is astounding to me how quickly i get tired when i’m outside too long during this texas summer, or when i swim, or when i have three little babies hanging off of me. i’ve missed them so much.

four. my oldest leo got a nail stamper machine for her birthday and i got to use it. so i gave myself pink and purple nails and then stamped on a unicorn on my middle finger and a bunny with a rainbow on the other middle finger. gotta keep it queer, always.

five. i keep looking at my weather app and is just shows a cactus with a huge sun and says Very Hot. lolsob. that’s how i know i’m in texas.

six. i think my new favorite word is sapphic.

seven. my mom has a roomba vacuum. her name is rosie. rosie scared the shit out of me at 8:30 while i was trying to make my coffee. she picked up my cousin’s charger and keep slinging it around.

eight. texas allergies hit different than my michigan allergies. texas allergies sit in my throat and makes my eyes itchy. michigan allergies sit on my skin and give me a headache. why are bodies?

nine. yesterday had a wonderful two hour conversation with my brother in law about capitalism, our prison system, the stock market, communities, and all the things that we both hold dear. the one thing we both agree on is that our government needs a reset. also that corporate america is ruining everything for everyone.

ten. sometimes i can’t tell how much water is left in my water bottle and i go to finish the last little sip and suddenly my shirt is soaked because i tried to knock back the last third of the bottle.

temporarily dead

“Just because I’m temporarily dead, doesn’t mean you can ignore me.” 

I dabbed the grease from my pepperoni pizza, making a point to keep ignoring Jesi. I took a large bite and closed my eyes, enjoying the rare hot meal. 

“Answer the question, Rory.” Jesi pressed. 

It wasn’t that I didn’t have an answer, it’s just that she wouldn’t like it. I wiped my hands on my wrinkled pants and with a heavy sigh, I answered. “The ritual didn’t work, Jesi. Emele never finished his part, until I can find him –”

“I can’t come back.”

“You can’t come back.”


Flash Fiction Weekly Challenge: The Prediction. This week’s words are: grease, question, wrinkle

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

moon femme musings: romanticizing, breakfast club, and to-do lists

one. i’ve been trying to romanticize my life lately. trying to remind myself that the small moments matter too and are just as important and joyful. like the first sip of coffee, putting on a new outfit right out of the dryer, brushing my teeth with a new toothbrush, making my bed, stacking my journals and books on my table. as the booktok trend goes: be your own main character.

two. headache checklist: have i had coffee yet? when was the last time i drank water? have i eaten recently? did i take my allergy meds? current answers: yes, does my morning sip to get the sleep taste out of my mouth count, define recently, yes indeed.

three. thinking about the never ending queer battle within myself of whether to grow out my hair or shave it. also, daydreaming about going to a queer hair salon and saying “surprise me”.

four. seven minutes until family breakfast club. i keep meaning to look up a recipe for banana bread. i don’t think i can make it in time for this morning’s breakfast, but maybe i can for tomorrow. also, need to make a note to make my tater tot casserole again. that was delightful.

five. one of these days, i would love to write all of these ten things in one sitting.

six. i’ve been on new meds for three weeks days and i really don’t think that i like these. now it feels like there is something missing, something that is too open in my brain. i doubt that makes sense. and it’s hard to focus, hard to remember things, and i am tired a lot more than my usual tired.

seven. i started writing this post on july 9th. it’s july 20th.

eight. oh, i am at the “i can hear my electronics humming and buzzing” stage of my adhd.

nine. thinking about my month trip to texas in august. and i’m excited and nervous. i need the pandemic to be over now, please.

ten. i wonder how many things i get done in my camper before i leave so i can come back to a new space that feels better. also wondering how many things i want to get done and see (safely) in texas to make the most of my trip.

thirty three

one. it’s three thirty-three as i type up my thirty third blog post. *insert the x-files theme song*

two. for the past several days, i have been waking up at eight thirty, out of bed by nine, so i can make my coffee and settle down at my kitchen table and start my day. i have been lighting a candle and incense each morning (which reminds me that i need to order some new incense) and have tried to journal or at least post something on instagram. anything that strikes my mood lately. on tuesday and wednesday, i had video chats and these chats always remind me that i do need face to face time with friends and family. virtual face to face, that is. still not doing a lot of in real time face to face because pandemic.

three. ’tis the season for iced coffee, but each morning, i still drink hot coffee. i feel like a horrible queer person because i don’t really do iced coffee (unless it’s made with love from loved ones). although, lately, i have been wanting to make some myself because pinterest keeps showing me summer flavored syrups. the strawberry chocolate one sounds particularly delightful.

four. this month, i’ve made family dinner twice. i made mini pancake muffins and this tater tot casserole. also learned that i need to make double the amount of mini pancake muffins. i also made this tuscan shrimp pasta with garlic bread. starting in july, i plan on making family dinner every saturday. i forgot how much i love cooking. please feel free to send me ideas! i am feeding a family of nine over the summer.

five. welp, i just got distracted for an hour updating my about page. what do y’all think?

six. when does lactaid run out? asking for myself. i think i took them with my first sip of iced coffee an hour ago…i hope they are still going to work for all this dairy. that’s what i get for getting distracted, damn it. yay adhd.

seven. speaking of adhd. i had a chat with a friend of mine about our anxiety and adhd. and how they overlap and professional tend to want to just focus on the anxiety and not on the adhd. because what happened with both of us, was this: our anxiety outweighed everything. so when we got meds for the anxiety, our adhd was like “oh, hello, is it my turn? thank you.” hoping to start my new meds that target both the anxiety and the adhd. fingers crossed and candles lit, please.

eight. i have two or three packages of books waiting at the p.o. box. i swear i will get them eventually. *lolsob*

nine. all the news about the delta variant of covid is really starting to upset me. i am planning on visiting my family july/august and i can feel my anxiety spiking as i think about this new variant and how easily this one seems to spread. and how quickly this one hits. and how long this one keeps you in hospital. i keep hearing mixed reports about current vaccines being somewhat resistant to it, but possibly not for long.

ten. to end on a lighter note: i’m going to eat these chocolate covered cherries and go watch murder, she wrote.

may reads: mini reviews

How the fuck is it the end of May??

Also, know I missed April’s mini reviews and it was honestly because I read so damn much that month. And didn’t have any energy to actually sit down and remember to review them. June will be a better month, I hope, as I am trying to approach reading differently and to review as I go. I may not share the reviews right away, but I will write the notes that way when I sit down at the end of the month, I don’t get overwhelmed.

May was a bit easier as I hit a huge reading slump and didn’t read near as much as I would have liked. Even fanfics this month, were just not working for me the way they normally do.

Also, instead of reviews, I’m just going to list all the books I read in April and May with little brief comments.

Books Read for April and May

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
4/5
One of my new favorite classics. I literally read this because there is a queer retelling coming out soon and I wanted to have a good frame of reference for the story. And now I love this book.

Lost In The Never Woods by Aiden Thomas
4/5
I am always here for a Peter Pan retelling. This book was magical and heartbreaking. And I loved it so much. Aiden Thomas is an auto-buy author for me now.

Body Broker by Daniel M. Ford
4/5
I’m such a sucker for a private investigator novel. This is the first in a series and it was so pretty face paced. I read it in two days.

The House In The Cerulean Sea by T.J. Klune
5/5
Literally one of my top favorite books now. A new comfort fic. It’s just everything I didn’t know I wanted in a book. Deals with a magical system that is highly prejudiced and layering the finding a family and a place where you belong. It’s like a big gay hug.

Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas
5/5
Trans boy falls in love with a ghost. That’s it, that’s all I needed to know. But it is so much more and had be in tears on and off through the whole damn book. Finding your place in family as a trans person and claiming your magical powers. Ugh. So good.

The Lady’s Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite
4/5
Sapphic regency romance. Science bros being science bros and being out done by women. Yes, please. Also, I’m a sucker for the romance tropes in this one.

In the Dream House: A Memoir by Carmen Maria Machado
5/5
I will be doing a in depth review/post in general about this on my Instagram because I’m still processing it. It is the most unique memoir I have ever read and I really feel like I can’t do it justice. It just needs to be read by anyone who is queer and has had experience or loved ones experience same sex domestic violence. This just doesn’t get talked about enough in queer communities.

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Now on to the fanfics. This may be the last month I do fanfic reviews. I love doing them, but I also feel like I need to be posting these in a different space or at the very least find a community who is as deep in this as I am so I’m not just talking to the wind.

Fan Fic Reviews

Total words for May2,604,015 words
Total Fics for May: 73
Shortest Fic: 2,000 words
Longest Fic: 124,927 words

I’m not going to put content warnings because if you click through the link, AO3 tagging system is brilliant and you can read those to see if this is a fic for you. More often than not, AO3 authors are heavy with the tags that way you know what you’re getting.

Blackbird by violenttulips – Drarry
(What’s this? A fanfic that is NOT Good Omens? Don’t worry. Literally the rest of them are.)
Harry was bitten by Greyback, he thinks is life is over. But of course, Draco says, “the fuck you say, I’m going to keep bothering you until you are you again.” I adore fics where Draco deals with Harry’s mental health with a tough love approach, with some fluff. Also, I really love the author’s expansion on werewolf culture and how it’s brought into this fic that Harry and Draco have to navigate. Fave Thing: Hermione and Draco friendship. I LOVE when this shit happens. Because both characters are so damn smart and they have so much to learn about and teach other.

The Best Laid Plans by hope_in_the_dark – Good Omens Human AU
Meet-cute. Sort of. Okay, Crowley hits Aziraphale with his car. Oooops! But ugh, the cuteness, the pining. I love it. Also, I love when Adam is related to Crowley somehow and the shenanigans they get into. Also, bisexual and asexual Crowley is always a fave of mine. This is a new comfort fic that I will be downloading to my phone. Fave Thing: Adam and Anathema are the biggest shippers. So cute.

Ghostwriter by bisasterdi – Good Omens Human AU
Aziraphale is forced to ghostwrite an autobiography of Crowley. It becomes so very obvious, the playboy persona that Crowley has to put on in order to avoid his crime family is not at all the true Crowley. This is a beautiful strangers to associates to friends to lovers. I loved seeing them poke through each other’s walls and masks to reveal something incredibly sweet. Fave Thing: How Soft they are with each other.

Icing on the Cake by Etheostoma – Good Omens Human AU
Crowley needs a decorator for his bakery, Aziraphale is perfect. Bakery flirting and pining idiots. That’s it, that’s all I needed to know. This became another comfort fit that I will be returning too. I love when authors say in their synopsis “the *insert topic* here no one asked for” because um, I did! In my mind, anyways. But yes, I will always read bakery romances. Or restaurant rivals romances. Food and romance. Yes. Fave Thing: Icing….for reasons.

Only Ever Yours by Caedmon – Good Omens Human Regency Romance AU
Regency romances are some of my favorites. Also Caedmon is one of my favorite Good Omens fanfic authors. CW: Nobility/Servant power dynamics. If that is not your thing, I understand. I usually have a hard time with super imbalanced power dynamics, yet, the whole “I was sent to spy on you” and the “oops, I fell in love with you” is just a thing that gets me every time. There is a lot of discussion about negotiating relationships with power dynamics in this that I really appreciated. Fave Thing: The Regency swooning with feather light touches and holding your breath all the damn time.

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Whew, okay. I’m trying to decide how I want to carry on with this blog. I’m feeling pretty uninspired, but could also be honest with myself that this month was just a difficult creative and reading month in general. I may get struck with inspiration later and keep doing reviews or at least talk about the books I enjoy. Not sure yet.

Also, I realize I am posting this and there is still one day left of May. Shhhh. It’s okay.