ten things 03

1. Drinking coffee at 2 PM. Glancing at the clock, still drinking coffee, and it’s 6 PM.

2. Contemplating restorative justice and what that looks like in our current criminal justice system. Heavily contemplating as deeply persona life starts to blend with theories and ideologies.

3. Daydreaming (or evening dreaming) about living on my own, in my own space, away from too many people. Yet close enough for when I need to feel not alone.

4. Music Oracle Hack —- Open Spotify, “Liked Songs”, shuffle. First song is a message: I Want U by Alison Wonderland. (That was the first song I ever liked on my account. Sitting in a coffee shop in Little Chute, Wisconsin. Now I desperately wish I wouldn’t have deleted my 3,000 page story I wrote that day.)

5. There are branches of yellow and orange leaves just right outside this window. Also, squirrels are running up and down and just settling in.

6. Stacks of books, unread. Just re-read Harry Potter. Piles of notebooks, empty. Just scroll through past notes on phone. Watch list, unwatched. Re-watch Murder, She Wrote over and over.

7. Wondering if a visualization of an altar space counts as a “real” altar space? For folks who are in the closet or don’t have a physical space to practice. Hmmmm.

8. Missing San Antonio. So much.

9. Another Music Oracle: X Amount of Words by Blue October.

10. This took me an hour to write……welp. Here we are.

ten things 02

1. Sleep doesn’t come easily, it doesn’t stay, and it is beginning to get immensely frustrating again. Maybe I need to adjust my sleep schedule again.

2. Numerous tabs open, literally and metaphorically speaking. But not a single thing done.

3. Reading a full book in one day makes me feel like myself again.

4. “Your bank account is below $100.”

5. Ireland.

6. All the stores have their Halloween and fall decor out finally, or as I like to call it my “aesthetic.”

7. Living in wild contradictions. Trying to tell myself it’s human, but also wondering if it’s something more complicated.

8. Checklist for getting a car ready before a road trip and realizing it will cost more to do all of this than the actual road trip itself.

9. Michigan, Colorado, and Oregon. 2 of 3 still pending.

10. Am I really going to be 29 this year?

ten things & a summoning

I can’t remember where I read about the “ten things” as a writing practice, but my dear Alisha Sommer does it so well and it’s inspiring. Likewise, I can’t remember where I saw the “five things you would use to summon me” meme, but my lovely Nicole calls these “a summoning” and I so enjoy them.

ten things

1. The second pot of coffee was perfection. A lightly roasted pumpkin spice flavored coffee with maple syrup for sweetener.

2. Finally watched a few episodes of Castle Rock, although I can’t look at Noel Fisher and not see Mickey Milkovich from Shameless. It’s weird seeing him as a correctional officer and not the one behind bars.

3. Enjoying post after post of David Tennant and Michael Sheen as my celestial queer dads on Pinterest/Tumblr and re-watching Good Omens just to see their faces and hear their voices.

4. Alternating crying and laughing as I think about life and the Universe. Being a human, or something like it, is so strange.

5. Baby snuggles are the best, but I do hate when they are sick. Snotty noses and hoarse little baby voices. But how I love my little Leo and my wee Scorpio niblings. (Niblings is the gender neutral/collective term for nieces and newphews.)

6. Waiting all day to go to bed and bedtime finally comes…..now I can’t seem to relax or turn off my brain.

7. “You looked terrified when I told you I planned on going home tomorrow,” I said. “I was terrified,” she said. So now I’m extending my trip to my sisters just a bit longer, I suppose.

8. This trip is staring to blur together. I can’t quite remember when I came, or how long I’ve been here. Or what day is what. It’s also a difficult feeling to have to switch between two spaces as I can’t seem to fit entirely into anyone’s schedules or life. So I make do and squeeze in where I can.

9. Summers are too hot in Texas. Well, summer is too hot everywhere now. 9: 30 PM and it’s dropped down to 90 degrees, finally.

10. “Love wins.”

a summoning

1. Ice cold water and a vanilla Dr. Pepper with three cherries.

2. 70s/80s classic rock playlist on repeat.

3. Cold aloe vera on hot summer skin.

4. The smell of summer roses.

5. A set of silk robes for every night of the week.