Is the smartest thing for me to be writing something of substance pre-coffee and emotional wound up? No, probably not.
Am I going to keep doing it? Yes, I am.
It’s May, it’s springtime, and I genuinely do not understand time any more. Or seasons, even though I try to follow the cycle of the year and things, I just cannot find myself in Space and Time. And it’s starting to feel like the normal.
I’m not sure I want that to be the normal, but don’t really know how to fix it, how to find a fixed point. Except grounding. Folks love telling me to ground, get my feet in the earth. But y’all. I loathe bugs and have horrible allergies, so I need a second suggestion, please.
Pretty sure breathing is another thing, and yeah, to be fair, I need to get better about that one too. Maybe I’ll download one of those apps that send you reminders to breath. Sometimes I feel silly with how many alarms and notifications I need to stay on top of being human, of functioning. Yay neurodivergence!
And truly, yay. Normally I love my neurodivergent brain. I love how I see the world, how I see patterns, how I interact. But sometimes it wears me down with how much I have to do, how much I have to adjust. And today is one of those days.
Please feel free to send me love, advice, links to helpful tools, etc. I appreciate y’all who read my words, very much.
Until next time,