in a brown study – A state of deep contemplation or rumination, as of a reverie, daydream, or meditation. It originally meant a melancholic or depressed mood or state (dating from at least the 1500s), but has since largely lost that association.

The Free Dictionary

The previously titled Moon Femme Musings/Ten Things is now “In A Brown Study”.

Back in the day, the color brown was associated with being melancholy, much like the color blue is today. And while my list making posts aren’t always on the depressing side, I think “In A Brown Study” is a cheeky nod to this idiom and my Dark Academia aesthetic.


1. Today’s gender is fresh coffee and sound blocking headphones.

2. I always feel bad DNFing a book that I was given for review. I am struggling with how to review it because it could work for someone else, but it just doesn’t work for me. I wish website would let you leave a review without having to star rate it. Because anything but a one star is disingenuous.

3. Two Sundays in a row I have listened and taken notes from Chani astrology app for the week ahead. While I may not refer to it all week long, it really helps to get a sense of energy and potential blocks that may happen. I have also created digital collages based off of her altar suggestions, since I don’t have a physical altar set up.

4. I made a packing list for my trip to Texas, but I think I lost it. Now I need to remember all the things I need again. I loathe packing.

5. Deleted.

6. More queer horror stories, please. More problematic queer characters, please. More queer everything, please.

7. Every day is a struggle to keep my social media accounts or just archive and start over. I know platforms die over time, I know new ones pop up, but sometimes I am just tired of constantly shifting and establishing myself in new communities.

8. Midsomer Murders and cat snuggles.

9. Catching two planes tomorrow. Fingers crossed my anxiety isn’t horrible. It’s been a few years since I’ve been on a plane. I’m packing light so that getting through security won’t stress me out as much.

10. It’s not going to feel real until I come back.