in a brown study – A state of deep contemplation or rumination, as of a reverie, daydream, or meditation. It originally meant a melancholic or depressed mood or state (dating from at least the 1500s), but has since largely lost that association.

The Free Dictionary

The previously titled Moon Femme Musings/Ten Things is now “In A Brown Study”.

Back in the day, the color brown was associated with being melancholy, much like the color blue is today. And while my list making posts aren’t always on the depressing side, I think “In A Brown Study” is a cheeky nod to this idiom and my Dark Academia aesthetic.


1. I have been obsessed with adding English Toffee syrup in my coffee. Also sugar, in addition to my honey. Craving sweet mornings to deal with Steadily Climbing Anxiety and Gently Sinking Depression.

2. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

3. Back in a reading slump. Ughsdhfeuahfeajkfhfh.

4. I don’t like the term “doomscrolling”. I think I keep scrolling because I’m trying to find the good, the joy, the Please Tell Me It’s Okay.

5. Writing fiction is so much more vulnerable than sharing personal non fiction. Because writing fiction is saying, “hi, this the world I live in sometimes, please tell me you like it too.”

6. Sweater vests.

7. 2021 was the year that I discovered that when I meet/get acquainted with new people, I will always assume they are queer until told otherwise. I now just assume that people can read me as queer and fellow queers are like “HELLO, let’s be queer together.”

8. Current obsessions: swans, fairy tales, Greek myths, Happy Color app, Alters Board on Pinterest, rereading old favorites, Merriam-Webster dictionary, the number seven.

9. Fan fics & flash fics.

10. I don’t think I’m going to end up doing a newsletter anytime soon. Just focus on where I am posting now (here, Instagram, and Twitter).