one. i’ve been trying to romanticize my life lately. trying to remind myself that the small moments matter too and are just as important and joyful. like the first sip of coffee, putting on a new outfit right out of the dryer, brushing my teeth with a new toothbrush, making my bed, stacking my journals and books on my table. as the booktok trend goes: be your own main character.
two. headache checklist: have i had coffee yet? when was the last time i drank water? have i eaten recently? did i take my allergy meds? current answers: yes, does my morning sip to get the sleep taste out of my mouth count, define recently, yes indeed.
three. thinking about the never ending queer battle within myself of whether to grow out my hair or shave it. also, daydreaming about going to a queer hair salon and saying “surprise me”.
four. seven minutes until family breakfast club. i keep meaning to look up a recipe for banana bread. i don’t think i can make it in time for this morning’s breakfast, but maybe i can for tomorrow. also, need to make a note to make my tater tot casserole again. that was delightful.
five. one of these days, i would love to write all of these ten things in one sitting.
six. i’ve been on new meds for three weeks days and i really don’t think that i like these. now it feels like there is something missing, something that is too open in my brain. i doubt that makes sense. and it’s hard to focus, hard to remember things, and i am tired a lot more than my usual tired.
seven. i started writing this post on july 9th. it’s july 20th.
eight. oh, i am at the “i can hear my electronics humming and buzzing” stage of my adhd.
nine. thinking about my month trip to texas in august. and i’m excited and nervous. i need the pandemic to be over now, please.
ten. i wonder how many things i get done in my camper before i leave so i can come back to a new space that feels better. also wondering how many things i want to get done and see (safely) in texas to make the most of my trip.