ten things for the new moon

1. There is a thought in the writing community, specifically for writers who are socialized femme, that the reason we never get work done is because we have been conditioned to believe we have to have the perfect writing environment, which leads us to clean the entire house and manage all the errands and household things before we sit down and write. Which ultimately means many of us will never sit down to write because there is always something to be done. I struggle with this because I am someone who NEEDS my writing space to be clean. And because I have ADHD, once I start cleaning one area, I start cleaning other areas (because I have a plate in my desk that needs to go to the kitchen, and when I’m in the kitchen I realize I need to bring my clean dishes to my camper, and when I’m in my camper I realize I need to sweep the floors, and when I sweep the floors I need to take out the trash, but first I need to gather all the trash from my camper, etc). So yes, I see how that means “I will never sit down to write”, but also, maybe my brain needs to focus on cleaning first and that can be okay sometimes.

2. “So it’s safe to say that not all words, not all topics, not all stories are for every one at every moment.”

3. A London Fog on a cold, snowy day.

4. I forgot I was recording my observations yesterday. So today I’m starting again to make a list of ten things.

5. New Moon cycle on the day I start my actual cycle. It makes me extra tired. When I’m synced with the Full Moon I feel like a werewolf. In the best and most feral way.

6. Knowing her magic is being protected and loved. And maybe one day shared. But now, she is safe again.

7. My gender of the day is blurry. My body dysmorphia is a lot. It came out of nowhere, I was just changing clothes and all of a sudden “why are my boobs this big! (I’m on my period)” and why are my hips hurting (I’m on my period”. Well, everything is horrible.

8. Looking back at 1-7 and seeing how disjointed everything is makes me realize how much humans carry at any given time. It’s a lot. We’re a lot. And that’s okay.

9. “HOMESCHOOL IS BAD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT”. Lolsob. That kid is great.

10. Dark academia playlists on repeat.

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