1. obsessed with tiktok. my absolute fave is Ash Valmont (he is LITERALLY sirius black. fight me). fairly certain i have watched every video he’s made and i don’t want to admit how many times i have watched the ones that are sirius black. my remus lupin self loves him, okay?
1a. also, birate tiktok. aka bisexual pirate tiktok. you’re welcome.
2. i’ve been trying to write this damn post for two days. one day i will have something more exciting than a list. but sometimes, this is the only way my brain can make sense of things.
3. speaking of brain. adhd brain, anxiety brain, depression brain. *sigh* they’re really hitting me right now. tell me why the fuck the sun goes down at 5 PM and i’m always ready for bed.
4. back in the day when i had a book blog (*cries in bookstagram envy*) i used to do a massive post on the books i read, and broke down the info (fiction vs nonfiction, romance, ya, sci-fi, etc.) soooo. as my pandemic/depression brain can’t focus on “real” books, do i or do i not count up the fanfics i’ve read this year? between wolfstar, drarry, and my ineffable husbands/wives….i don’t even know how many millions of words i have read. and i wish i were exaggerating…
5. currently switching between this post and my keybase/discord chats and my eyes hurt. i have all my chats set to dark mode, but alas, there is no dark mode for wordpress.
6. dark mode reminded me of dark mood which reminded me of dark academia and now i want to shop for more remus lupin sweaters. *stares at bank account*
7. ask me how many things i’ve bought this year. just kidding. please don’t ask me.
8. mild tangent: doom shopping is a thing. shopping for that dopamine hit we all so fucking desperately need during this shit year is nothing to be ashamed of. and no, i’m not just saying this to make myself feel better or justify my spending. legit, needing a way to find those small joys during this pandemic is so fucking important. i am glad i have the privilege to be able to still buy a few things here and there.
9. speaking of privilege, i am glad i got to see my family when i did, because i don’t know the next time i will feel safe to so again. seeing as how america can’t get the numbers down. it truly blows my mind how shitty this was handled. well, blows my mind and also not surprising because this administration is horrible.
10. speaking of administration. glad to see the presidential transition is happening finally and cannot wait to keep asking for biden/harris administration to be accountable as well. none of these fights and demands are over.