ten things 05

1. a little over a week ago, i fell down the stairs and landed right on my tailbone. it’s bruised and it hurt like hell. you never realize how many muscles are connected to your tailbone until you bruise it and move around. sitting down, standing up, rolling over in bed, even just laying down on my back. this reminds me that i really should take an anatomy class one day…

2. dan radcliffe, emma watson, evanna lynch, and so many more Harry Potter actors made a statement against j.k. rowling’s latest transphobic tweet. *continues reading all the LGBTQIA fanfics*

3. i have been texting my sisters about the protests, about the positive changes that are happening (because protests work). hoping that they continue questioning and reading and educating themselves on the black lives matter movement, why defunding the police is important.

4. it’s simultaneously easy and difficult to forget that the country is in the middle of a pandemic. so many people are trying to go to back to normal, using the protests as a “well, looks like we can go to brunch now”.

5. last week i got a package from my aunt with my summer clothes and a few books. when i opened the box and took out the clothes, i started crying because it smelled like my grandparents’ house. i was not prepared for the emotion and was hit with so many emotions for the next two days.

6. june 07th marked the one year of my nina’s passing. june 14th will mark the one year of my grandma’s passing. this is a a really shitty month so far.

7. my stomach has been hurting since the start of this month. probably anxiety related, possible grief related, and some days i just don’t want to eat anything. other days i wish i could just eat all the sweets and drink dr pepper. probably not a good coping mechanism for my blood sugar, but it makes me feel better.

8. i have been in michigan for four months. it doesn’t feel that long and it feels longer. time is weird and marking the time going by is difficult. especially when my sleep schedule is so opposite the “norm”. it’s a good day if i get to sleep by 4 am and wake up by 2 pm. but that doesn’t include the waking up every two to four hours and having to figure out how to get comfortable again.

9. fucking hell, my legs are asleep. i’m sitting on the floor in the lounge room, on a pillow so my tailbone doesn’t hurt, in the same cross legged position for thirty minutes. oops. one leg is at that weird tingly stage and the other is at the can’t feel anything but it kind of feels like my muscles are full of mush. (this makes sense in my head)

10. in other weird news, i have leon bridge’s cover of “pony” stuck in my head. so. there’s that.

xx

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